An attack of sorts and a Father's Day dinner~

So I can't remember any time in my life where I've been more anxious than I am right now. Seriously. And life has been busy even though school is out. Jason had his kidney stone, been working through those projects at our house, and this week was VBS. Now to be honest, I took the year off...for several reasons. And while I didn't work it this week, I did stay busy. Monday was the marathon closet cleaning day and the rest of the mornings, I kinda played! lol! Tara and I went to Starbucks one morning and enjoyed our lattes! The next day was the Pottery Barn outlet diversion and then Friday, we headed into ATL to visit a friend who had a beautiful baby girl! All in all, good stuff.

But there was a DSDW board meeting this past Wednesday and as it turns out...we have no news from it. I guess I had too much of my heart in it and my hopes were in the clouds because I was just beside myself wondering if our case came up. I mean, we're now beyond {barely, but still beyond} four months since referral. Some WACAP timelines say 2-4 months, some say 3-5 months till travel. Neither one will hold true for us. I emailed our case worker on Wednesday to ask a simple question, didn't hear back till Friday and my question wasn't even answered. I also found out some kinda shocking news about a friend from my past that has just hurt my soul. I mean, I'm broken hearted over it. And on and on and on. 

All the while, my stress level is going through the roof. We had VBS commencement last night and I just honestly didn't want to be there at all. We came home and Jase asked me if I was okay. I told him that I didn't know. And he said that I didn't look good. I went to bed thinking about how we're all approved and ready to go get Joel, and everyone agrees that we will be the best parents for this sweet little boy who is right now sitting in an orphanage in Bangkok...but alas. No one has signed that last document giving us permission to come get him. Even typing it makes me frustrated. So you know what i did? Last night...in the stinkin' middle of the night...'ol Kam had herself a big, fat panic attack. Yep, that was a new one. Never happened to me before. I really thought I was having a heart attack. Seriously. I mean, I'm only 34 and I'm not in athletic shape like high school but I weigh the same as I did in high school {I know, it won't last}...and I walked 60 stinkin miles in three days last October for breast cancer...but I was sure I was gonna croak right there in the bed last night and leave my poor, sweet husband to raise these children! 

Oh, and I'm so sore today. Who knew? Have any of you experienced this? But this afternoon, Mr. Amazon delivered a package...

So that did make me feel a little better. And, we celebrated Father's Day with Jase tonight. Kennedy had the great idea to fix him a special dinner. She even made him a little menu on the Mac. 

So we had steak on the grill {Jase had NY Strip and us girls had Filet Mignon...I made the Filet with caramelized onions on top with Gorganzola butter...YUMS!!!}, baked potato for Jase and Syd and baked sweet potatoes for Kennedy and I, yummy salad and 5 grain bread. Then for dessert, we made hot fudge cake {Jason's favorite!} with his mom's homemade hot fudge and vanilla bean ice cream! It was a good night. I wish I had pics of our yummy dinner. 

Jase,

Thank you for being such a great dad for 

our girls. They adore you almost as much as I do!

I can't wait for Joel to be home and to watch you be dad to our son.

I love you more than you know~

Happy Father's Day!